In our previous post we saw that our sexuality is good because it reflects the:
- community of the Trinity
- oneness of the Trinity
- love of the Trinity
- delight & joy in the Trinity
- joy of the Trinity in Creation
- ultimate ecstasy of our union with Christ
So we need to communicate the goodness of our bodies and our sexuality to our children. We need to affirm and bless in our children what God blessed in creation.
But the truth is we might not know its goodness – intellectually we can see what I’ve said is true but we don’t feel comfortable – we don’t know the “without shame” (Gen 2:25).
We live in a fallen world – when Adam and Eve disobeyed God they broke fellowship with God – and so history is man trying to replace that gap, that pleasure with something else and so see sexuality as god.
But fellowship was also broken with each other – they lost that sense of unconditional love – and so hurt/rejection can lead to us to see our sexuality as gross.
And your parents will have been affected and then passed on their beliefs to you. Those around you at school, work or church will have also assigned a value to sexuality which may have influenced you. And finally any sexual experiences you may have had will also affect your core beliefs.
So before we look at how to apply the first principle to situations with our children we’re going to spend a little time reflecting on the inheritance we were given and asking the Holy Spirit to highlight the lies that you have believed about His good gift. This is important because as we mentioned in a previous post: it’s hard to pass on wholeness if you’re not whole yourself.
Did you see your parents celebrate the goodness of God’s gift with each other?
Positive – on a rating of 1-10 how positive were your parents’ responses to your sexuality?
How did that make you feel about your sexuality?
Satan is the “father of lies” (Jn 8:44) who seeks to “steal and kill and destroy” (Jn 10:10).
Ask the Holy Spirit to highlight specific occasions where you believed a lie.
We need to replace lies with truth so that we can be transformed (Rom 12:2) and that truth will set us free (Jn 8:32). Ask Jesus, the truth, to speak the truth about His good gift in each of these situations.
How have these lies affected your marriage and your response to your children’s sexuality?
Ask the Father to restore what has been lost and make it new (Isa 61).
My prayer for you is that our glorious God meets with you and bring you healing and transformation. After this it important to maintain and walk in the freedom you have received and how we act flows out of what we believe (“For as he thinks in his heart so is he” Prov 7:23a NKJV). One way to help you replace core beliefs is to write down the truths that you have learned and declare them aloud as faith comes by hearing the word of God (Rom 10:17). In the same way when Jesus was being attacked about his identity (“if you are the Son of God”) he quoted scripture out loud (Mat 4:3, 6).
If you need further help then I do recommend a Sozo, or Restoring the Foundations, or Freedom in Christ as helpful ministries.
Feel free to comment below or if you prefer to ask something privately then do contact us via our website.
Next time we will start applying the truths we have learned about our sexuality to common scenarios faced when parenting.
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[…] the previous three blog posts (1 2 3) we’ve been discussing the first principle of teaching your children godly sexuality: […]