Today, we begin to blog the workshop that we offer to parents.
We have already talked about how the world’s view of sex has been reduced to the physical act and sexuality has been reduced to orientation. There is little to no recognition of anything beyond this, despite the obvious obsession people have with “finding someone” and then the hurt caused when it goes sour. Repeat.
As we saw in our brief history of Christian sexuality the church currently takes one of three positions:
At one extreme we have the “free grace” movement who believe that Christ has forgiven us so we can do what we want. This is the modern equivalent of the Corinthian view. This “cheap grace” means that they are no different from the world and devalue the gift.
At the other end we still have those churches who see the immorality in the world and preach a “gospel” (though it is not good news at all) of sex is bad, sex is dirty, save it for the one you love. This is the modern equivalent of the ascetic/stoic view and leads to Christians feeling condemned, guilty and marriages in trouble.
And then in between there are those churches who sit uncomfortably in the middle and say nothing. They simply bury their heads in the sand and hope it goes away. But it doesn’t and then we, and our children, are vulnerable to a world that isn’t shy about presenting its opinion forcefully and seductively. In the end, the church just ends up conforming to the world but keeping it out of conversation of the church family.
Why do I mention this? For two reasons. Firstly, we need to recognise that the environment we were brought up in at home or in church shapes our beliefs and our feelings about this topic. For example, if we were brought up in a silent environment then we will naturally find it very difficult to talk about it with our children. Or if we were brought up in a “sex is bad” environment then we will have issues of shame that need to be addressed before we will be able to communicate the beauty of God’s gift to our children.
Secondly, we need to recognise the environment our children are growing up in. As much as we try to shelter our children, the world has a message it is pushing and if we as parents and/or the church respond with silence then they will go elsewhere to find answers. And if we respond with the ungodly view of “sex is bad” then either they will grow up rejecting God’s good gift or rejecting our opinion in favour of the world who seem to have more fun.
This course is an attempt to impart a godly view of our sexuality – a beautiful gift that reflects glory of our Three-in-One God – which is neither to be rejected, is simply too good to keep quiet about and is better than anything the world has to offer.
This is not a finished product!
I don’t have all the answers and a lovely step by step method that will work in every situation. Life is simply not like that. If it was then the bible would have identical stories of how God dealt with different people.
But what I can do is share what I’ve learned (often the hard way) and provide a forum to discuss issues/share ideas to help you come up with an approach which suits both your personality and your children.
To help you do this the course is presented as a workshop with (not so hypothetical) situations that will will enable you to practise applying four general principles to.
I will be sharing my personal experience and interactions with my children and in discussions others may also share personal details – I’m hoping that you will also share what has been revealed to you so we can all benefit and encourage each other onwards.
Obviously this requires a safe place so I ask that you respect each of our journeys and remember when responding to any comments that we are all children of the same heavenly father and are only saved by grace. And so I will only publish such comments that adhere to these guidelines.
If you would prefer to ask a question privately, then please use the form on the godly sexuality website.